Monday, January 07, 2008
Not feeling good right now... a part of me wish i could just sleep on it... but i can't...
All I feel like right now is to cry my hearts out and physically... i dun feel good... i wanna vomit...
I have always been afraid of being in a relationship. Things never work out with previous ones and also things never happened with people i go out with... Afraid.. really really afraid... i dunno... It has always been like tt....
BUt finally i found someone whom i think is almost perfect... someone i wanna spend my life.. of course things can never be smooth sailing but everytime.. i think of what he has gone thru... i admire him for that and i want him to be the one protecting and defending me in future..
Of course.. i appreciate every thing that he has done for me.. no matter how to others may seem small... It's a big thing to me and i really appreciate that... and I really love him.. more... really..
All these things said... i know as humans... we are never contented with what we have... we always want more... even if more may sometimes be quite impossible... squabbles, arguments happen... over the slightest things... but deep down.. you know.. watever it is... that person.. you're never contented with... the one u're squabbling with is all you want... n no one else....
So... for the first time (being mushy) on this very blog... i think...
I just wanna say... I'm sorry.. and I Love You... and there's no one else i'd rather be with...
All I feel like right now is to cry my hearts out and physically... i dun feel good... i wanna vomit...
I have always been afraid of being in a relationship. Things never work out with previous ones and also things never happened with people i go out with... Afraid.. really really afraid... i dunno... It has always been like tt....
BUt finally i found someone whom i think is almost perfect... someone i wanna spend my life.. of course things can never be smooth sailing but everytime.. i think of what he has gone thru... i admire him for that and i want him to be the one protecting and defending me in future..
Of course.. i appreciate every thing that he has done for me.. no matter how to others may seem small... It's a big thing to me and i really appreciate that... and I really love him.. more... really..
All these things said... i know as humans... we are never contented with what we have... we always want more... even if more may sometimes be quite impossible... squabbles, arguments happen... over the slightest things... but deep down.. you know.. watever it is... that person.. you're never contented with... the one u're squabbling with is all you want... n no one else....
So... for the first time (being mushy) on this very blog... i think...
I just wanna say... I'm sorry.. and I Love You... and there's no one else i'd rather be with...
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A New phase in life?
Insyaallah...
hmmm.. i just can't wait for gaji man... it's already tuesday... n then.. wednesday!!!
YEAH!!!!!!
can go shopping n take advantage of the Christmas sale!!!
hmm... but...
baby.. can we have Fish N Co soon??
that's like a 'luxury food' for us man.. n can only have them after gaji...
Quick!! let it be Wednesday already!!
n to my dear Jems... miss you guys u noe? meet up soon ya? karaoke ke... hehe...
I'm sooo in a good mood... :)
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
can't sleep... something's bothering me...
times like this i dunno who i should turn to...
bf? (nope.. cos.. its complicated)
parents? (nvr make them get involved)
siblings? (same here)
friends? (they're all asleep... furthermore... y would they wanna listen to this? they've more impt things to think abt)
bibik? (no... the secret might not be a secret anymore)
so technically i'm left alone to ponder n think n comfort myself... given this situation at this very hr... how i wish... i dun have to think abt them n just sleep...
Basically.. i turn to my bloggie... a gd fren indeed.. especially wen u need to rant abt something tt is sooooo stupid n my bloggie will always be there for me... minus the criticism or opinions etc... good!!
Is being selfish always bad?
well of course.. most of the time... cos by being selfish.. u're gonna affect others n life does not only revolve ard yourself n there are bigger things out there than my own personal wants...
But still its not fair...
i feel most of the time i've been quite patient and try as much as possible to refrain from making someone else hurt or angry... as long as i have already been given the 'opportunity' to convey what i want... so in the end i always lose cos i wanna make the other party happy...
The frustration i feel is soooo damn *argh* how i wish i dun have to feel this way... then it'll be a lot easier.. right?? i can sleep soundly n smile every minute n every second..
N the funny thing is... after all those frustration... it'll just go away n i forget about everything that i was mad abt... c? how forgiving....
Labels: frustration
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Monday, November 26, 2007
Hmm... been some time.. (i know i always say tt) but the fact is.. i'm just too lazy to update. Well tt's not the only thing tt i always dun find time... I just dun find time to do anything useful.. like... reading or watching tv or watching dvd/vcd.. in fact i dun really noe wat i spend my time with..
This post has no objective watsoever.. It's just tt i realised i've a blog which is left idle... n bf just gave me a suggestion on wat to do... heh...
I noe... NONSENSE right? I dunno wat i shd do to myself...
Ok aniwae.. holidays r back!! wooo!! but no getaways for me partly bcos no $$ n yea.. no plans of a holiday too. then.. bf might have to do some stuff which would make me lonely most of the time for my hols i guess :(
BUT.. i'm so looking forward to that shopping spree baby (u noe.. i noe) ;p
Ok.. so now i might have to plan somethings to.. u noe... entertain myself...
so maybe i should:
1) stock as many vcds/dvds (esp funny romantic korean ones) n WATCH them
2) go jog as many times as possible (right...)
3) READ... n READ n READ (tis wat i hate most)
4) window shop (alone?? anyone wanna accompany me?)
5) prepare some lesson plans? (dun make me laf!)
6) play Sims 2 more often.. (n make my fantasies come alive virtually..)
7) play with hidayat
8) find a hobby?
9) do nothing like wat i always do.. (a lil like an oxymoron dun ya think?)
10) plan a short n last minute getaway!!!!!! (hmmmm.. still considering...)
Hmm... thats all i have in mind... i'm quite pathetic la... haiz...
We'll c how la...
This post has no objective watsoever.. It's just tt i realised i've a blog which is left idle... n bf just gave me a suggestion on wat to do... heh...
I noe... NONSENSE right? I dunno wat i shd do to myself...
Ok aniwae.. holidays r back!! wooo!! but no getaways for me partly bcos no $$ n yea.. no plans of a holiday too. then.. bf might have to do some stuff which would make me lonely most of the time for my hols i guess :(
BUT.. i'm so looking forward to that shopping spree baby (u noe.. i noe) ;p
Ok.. so now i might have to plan somethings to.. u noe... entertain myself...
so maybe i should:
1) stock as many vcds/dvds (esp funny romantic korean ones) n WATCH them
2) go jog as many times as possible (right...)
3) READ... n READ n READ (tis wat i hate most)
4) window shop (alone?? anyone wanna accompany me?)
5) prepare some lesson plans? (dun make me laf!)
6) play Sims 2 more often.. (n make my fantasies come alive virtually..)
7) play with hidayat
8) find a hobby?
9) do nothing like wat i always do.. (a lil like an oxymoron dun ya think?)
10) plan a short n last minute getaway!!!!!! (hmmmm.. still considering...)
Hmm... thats all i have in mind... i'm quite pathetic la... haiz...
We'll c how la...
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Monday, August 20, 2007
My new TOY....
Fujifilm Finepix Z5...
n i'm LOVING it!!
Labels: cammie
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Monday, July 23, 2007
Am busy getting lesson plans ready for next day's observation... I've got 2 tom mind u.. and 1 of the class.. i'll be having a senior teacher.. the vp and my ct in the classroom... watching me teach while.. at the same time.. i think i'm gonna shiver n stutter.... (just pray tt won't happen)..
Anyways... i'm so tired of doing the lesson plans and was really really tired.. so i decided.. y not take a break?
So i quickly typed some of my friend's bloggie addresses just so i can read abt what's going on with their lives.. since i've been too busy to even msg them at times... well.. for some reason... i felt left out... when i was looking thru the pics.. it was good to c that their enjoying themselves.. with all the activities they had... but as i was looking thru the pics... it's like... well.. my pic was suppose to be there... but it wasn't...
I miss having fun... and i miss them friends... but too bad... anyways.. they are having their break... so its good that they are enjoy before it's too late... wait for me also by then they gonna start school... too bad...
I noe this is late but...
Congrats to Hamma n Ju on their Graduation
and...
Happy Birthday Fid!
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Crap, I'm down with flu.. but i'm fortunate cos it's already Friday!
So far so good.. nothing i should be complaining of.. just that.. sometimes... i have these jitters in my stomach... especially when i realise... it's not easy to be in this profession... there's more to it than just teaching...
Anyways.. on a happier note.. meeting bf later.. (yay!) to watch Transformers. I heard its a movie worth every penny to watch...After movies.. it's time for Late Night Shopping!! remember.. today's the last Friday for the month of June.. heee.. never tried this out..
but today's main mission: To get Daddy's present... (not sure wat to get lah!)
Yup! c... if it's not cos i've free period till the school ends.. I would not be updating my blog... So boring!! I noe i should be starting on my reflections or get my lessons ready for Mendaki... will do that later lah! For now.. lemme enjoy my free period.. maybe relax n drink my Hot Milo... cos i can't stand this flu.. It's bugging me...
Till my next update :)
Labels: birthday present shopping, flu, Transformers
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