MiSztiQue

2008-01-07T21:41:00.000+08:00

Not feeling good right now... a part of me wish i could just sleep on it... but i can't...
All I feel like right now is to cry my hearts out and physically... i dun feel good... i wanna vomit...

I have always been afraid of being in a relationship. Things never work out with previous ones and also things never happened with people i go out with... Afraid.. really really afraid... i dunno... It has always been like tt....

BUt finally i found someone whom i think is almost perfect... someone i wanna spend my life.. of course things can never be smooth sailing but everytime.. i think of what he has gone thru... i admire him for that and i want him to be the one protecting and defending me in future..

Of course.. i appreciate every thing that he has done for me.. no matter how to others may seem small... It's a big thing to me and i really appreciate that... and I really love him.. more... really..

All these things said... i know as humans... we are never contented with what we have... we always want more... even if more may sometimes be quite impossible... squabbles, arguments happen... over the slightest things... but deep down.. you know.. watever it is... that person.. you're never contented with... the one u're squabbling with is all you want... n no one else....

So... for the first time (being mushy) on this very blog... i think...
I just wanna say... I'm sorry.. and I Love You... and there's no one else i'd rather be with...

2007-12-11T01:13:00.000+08:00

A New phase in life?

Insyaallah...

hmmm.. i just can't wait for gaji man... it's already tuesday... n then.. wednesday!!!

YEAH!!!!!!

can go shopping n take advantage of the Christmas sale!!!

hmm... but...

baby.. can we have Fish N Co soon??

that's like a 'luxury food' for us man.. n can only have them after gaji...

Quick!! let it be Wednesday already!!

n to my dear Jems... miss you guys u noe? meet up soon ya? karaoke ke... hehe...

I'm sooo in a good mood... :)

2007-11-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

can't sleep... something's bothering me...

times like this i dunno who i should turn to...

bf? (nope.. cos.. its complicated)

parents? (nvr make them get involved)

siblings? (same here)

friends? (they're all asleep... furthermore... y would they wanna listen to this? they've more impt things to think abt)

bibik? (no... the secret might not be a secret anymore)

so technically i'm left alone to ponder n think n comfort myself... given this situation at this very hr... how i wish... i dun have to think abt them n just sleep...

Basically.. i turn to my bloggie... a gd fren indeed.. especially wen u need to rant abt something tt is sooooo stupid n my bloggie will always be there for me... minus the criticism or opinions etc... good!!

Is being selfish always bad?

well of course.. most of the time... cos by being selfish.. u're gonna affect others n life does not only revolve ard yourself n there are bigger things out there than my own personal wants...

But still its not fair...

i feel most of the time i've been quite patient and try as much as possible to refrain from making someone else hurt or angry... as long as i have already been given the 'opportunity' to convey what i want... so in the end i always lose cos i wanna make the other party happy...

The frustration i feel is soooo damn *argh* how i wish i dun have to feel this way... then it'll be a lot easier.. right?? i can sleep soundly n smile every minute n every second..

N the funny thing is... after all those frustration... it'll just go away n i forget about everything that i was mad abt... c? how forgiving....

2007-11-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

Hmm... been some time.. (i know i always say tt) but the fact is.. i'm just too lazy to update. Well tt's not the only thing tt i always dun find time... I just dun find time to do anything useful.. like... reading or watching tv or watching dvd/vcd.. in fact i dun really noe wat i spend my time with..

This post has no objective watsoever.. It's just tt i realised i've a blog which is left idle... n bf just gave me a suggestion on wat to do... heh...

I noe... NONSENSE right? I dunno wat i shd do to myself...

Ok aniwae.. holidays r back!! wooo!! but no getaways for me partly bcos no $$ n yea.. no plans of a holiday too. then.. bf might have to do some stuff which would make me lonely most of the time for my hols i guess :(

BUT.. i'm so looking forward to that shopping spree baby (u noe.. i noe) ;p

Ok.. so now i might have to plan somethings to.. u noe... entertain myself...

so maybe i should:

1) stock as many vcds/dvds (esp funny romantic korean ones) n WATCH them

2) go jog as many times as possible (right...)

3) READ... n READ n READ (tis wat i hate most)

4) window shop (alone?? anyone wanna accompany me?)

5) prepare some lesson plans? (dun make me laf!)

6) play Sims 2 more often.. (n make my fantasies come alive virtually..)

7) play with hidayat

8) find a hobby?

9) do nothing like wat i always do.. (a lil like an oxymoron dun ya think?)

10) plan a short n last minute getaway!!!!!! (hmmmm.. still considering...)

Hmm... thats all i have in mind... i'm quite pathetic la... haiz...

We'll c how la...

2007-08-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

My new TOY....

Fujifilm Finepix Z5...

n i'm LOVING it!!

2007-07-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

Am busy getting lesson plans ready for next day's observation... I've got 2 tom mind u.. and 1 of the class.. i'll be having a senior teacher.. the vp and my ct in the classroom... watching me teach while.. at the same time.. i think i'm gonna shiver n stutter.... (just pray tt won't happen)..

Anyways... i'm so tired of doing the lesson plans and was really really tired.. so i decided.. y not take a break?

So i quickly typed some of my friend's bloggie addresses just so i can read abt what's going on with their lives.. since i've been too busy to even msg them at times... well.. for some reason... i felt left out... when i was looking thru the pics.. it was good to c that their enjoying themselves.. with all the activities they had... but as i was looking thru the pics... it's like... well.. my pic was suppose to be there... but it wasn't...

I miss having fun... and i miss them friends... but too bad... anyways.. they are having their break... so its good that they are enjoy before it's too late... wait for me also by then they gonna start school... too bad...

I noe this is late but...

Congrats to Hamma n Ju on their Graduation

and...

Happy Birthday Fid!

2007-06-29T14:16:00.000+08:00

Crap, I'm down with flu.. but i'm fortunate cos it's already Friday!

So far so good.. nothing i should be complaining of.. just that.. sometimes... i have these jitters in my stomach... especially when i realise... it's not easy to be in this profession... there's more to it than just teaching...

Anyways.. on a happier note.. meeting bf later.. (yay!) to watch Transformers. I heard its a movie worth every penny to watch...After movies.. it's time for Late Night Shopping!! remember.. today's the last Friday for the month of June.. heee.. never tried this out..

but today's main mission: To get Daddy's present... (not sure wat to get lah!)

Yup! c... if it's not cos i've free period till the school ends.. I would not be updating my blog... So boring!! I noe i should be starting on my reflections or get my lessons ready for Mendaki... will do that later lah! For now.. lemme enjoy my free period.. maybe relax n drink my Hot Milo... cos i can't stand this flu.. It's bugging me...

Till my next update :)

2007-06-15T12:33:00.000+08:00

Life for me these days, have been one hell of a ride...
Sometimes i question myself how my existence affect others around me.. n most of the time these questions arise when i think i'm just too emotional n sadly my own answers to these questions are relatively negative..

It's un-fathomable...

So.. don't ask "what's wrong?"

2007-06-02T03:17:00.000+08:00

The post you've all been anticipating.... the one you've all been waiting for....

It's gonna be about....

BF's BIRTHDAY!!! which falls on the 27th May..

Semangat ok.. i go edit2 the pics n all...

so aniwaes...
We start it off with a birthday countdown. Had dinner at Lau Pa Sat and then headed down to Boat Quay for the countdown. Then.. kind of celebrated his birthday with my family at Swensen's (airport). And spent the whole day together on Monday.. Lemme just put up some pics ya? I dun wanna go into details.. Paiseh ok?!!

First up... profile of the Birthday (not-so) Boy...

Countdown

On his Birthday

Now.. for the surprises...

The first one was given 5 days before his birthday... and obviously he wasn't expecting the early gift..

Surprise 1

The 2nd one was given 2 days before his Birthday... with the help of Hamma n bf.. they kinda help me look for the shoes and also as an aspiring actor/actress.. they acted as though Hamma bought it for Iqbal... Bf was telling them that he really2 liked the shoe n if only i was the one who bought for him... so.. u should have seen bf's face when i whispered "It's actually for you.."

Thanks Hamma n Bal!!

Surprise 2

The next one was given the day after his birthday.. cos his Birthday was spent with my family... so... had to give him on another day... bought him a Crumpler bag.. which he thought he wasn't gonna get...

Surprise 3

Lastly... a brownie (cake) I baked since he did not get a proper birthday cake... It wasn't anything special... just a simple one...

Surprise 4

That's abt it actually...

To bf...
Now that i know u always read my blog...
I hope you had a great BIRTHDAY and u liked your presents.. :)

2007-05-29T00:42:00.001+08:00

HI!!!!! :)

It's been a long time yeah? haha... been gone for too long... and i know u guys miss reading my pathetic posts... hehe...

Ok.. for now.. it's just me making some changes to my blog. Will be blogging more soon... posting more stuff... i promise!! hahhaa... so start checking out my blog again k??

In the mean time... let's say.. i've a lot of homework to do (ie so that i can update my blog)

hah!!

2006-12-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

Ok.. finally.. i just feel i have to put something up.. before i get another.. "asal tak update" tag.. hee...

First up... Chiq's long postponed birthday celebration was... fun-ner than expected.. eventho a few couldn't come.. but we certainly had a good time.. esp the preparation part... Thanks to me n Hamma... we had some decent snacks n food prepared for the picnic.. Held at the Botanical Gdns... It was my first time there ok? N i sooo love it there... I wanna go there with my future bf again la.. best!!

The cake

captured moments of the picnic
Birthday Girl

The Girls

People who made it happen :)

More pics HERE...

Aniwae...

HAPPY (very) BELATED 22nd BIRTHDAY to SYIQA!! :)

Next up.. My KL trip with my NIE peeps... I soooo enjoyed the 3 days spent with them.. so enjoyable... esp having the good sport people.. n the funny2 ones... really made the trip a fun one...

First day... once we reached KL.. we went straight to the suite (ie KL Plaza Suite)... rested for a while.. had dinner at Secret Recipe... n guess wat.. it happened that they were launching the first Public Toilet which has a coin slot.. hehe.. CUTE!!.. n guess wat.. the deputy Prime Minister was there.. such a grand event... Then.. we made our way to Petaling St.. where we had fun bargaining and had good buys of 'branded' goods.. haha... Esp Fizah... hu's an expert in bargaining stuffs.. We were enjoying our shopping.. till everyone else had to wait for us... kekee... The rest had to wait for me n Fizah.. EVERYTIME.... but we really had fun.. right Fizah?

The 2nd day.. we went to Masjid India n borong kain over there.. most of us had so much to shop that wen we were heading to Mid Valley Megamall.. we were already carrying so many bags.. but.. imagine us with those bags and then shopping again at Megamall.. but.. our shopping trip did not stop there... after tt.. we went to Petaling St AGAIN.. to get stuffs we should had bought the day before... By then we were all dead beat... n then headed back to the apartment to rest for a while... At night.. we went to Berjaya Times Sq to watch a late night movie.. n guess wat movie we watched.... CICAKMAN!!! kuakuakua...

"Ape kau.. asik chak chak CHAK!!"

It was a laughable lame movie with a weak plot.. but the characters made it stoopidly funny la.... However.. the company of watchin the lame movie with a bunch of great frens made it an enjoyable one... Wen we reached the apartment.. some of us were hungry but refused to eat cos we were already tired.. so.. most.. went to sleep... BUT some... couldn't sleep.. namely myself, Yati, Nizam n Jeeb...

So.. we hanged out at a coffeeshop nearby to have supper n then.. walked all the way to KLCC.. in the wee hrs... when ppl r done with their clubbing... haha.. It was a walk to remember cos.... I 'broke' fizah's sandals on the way back.. haha.. n we actually went to a 7-11 which happened to sel.. slipper getah Jepun.. but with GREEN straps.. hahha

Yup yup... KL trip was a great getaway with the NIE peeps.. i certainly enjoyed my trip sooo much.. and i hope.. there's gonna be another one planned for the next break.. BANGKOK maybe?

Ok... this post is actually completed mins just before new year 2007!!

So.. to all Muslims out there... Selamat Hari Raya Aidil adha n Happy New Year!!

(P.s To my frens out there.. remember... 3rd Jan ya?? ;p)

2006-12-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Time flies real fast... before u know it.. it's already Friday... N to be honest.. i've yet to really enjoy my holidays. Sucks..

My hols are all about running errands.. doing delivery and driving people around.. Quite tiring... n the last time i met chiq was during PGL... I miss u laaaaaa.... Now u werking some more... even if ya not werking.. i think i also dunno wen can meet u la..

This month's salary.. trying to save as much as i can.. will only need some cash for my KL trip next wk (which i hope... i still can go..) but whatever it is.. If i'll be gg... Hope to have fun uh!! Wanna 'kirim' anything? Anyone?

This entry is here cos I just wanna have a new entry la... Everyone's complaining cos i'm taking so long to update... n seriously i've nothin interesting to blog about... but kan.. maybe i shd post some pics in the next entry ya? It's been a long time since i put up any.. haha... ok mates.. soon ya?? :)

2006-12-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

Firda's back!!
With a totally new blog skin!! heee.. Actually i'm getting bored of MC so.. i changed to something which i got from blogskins... then add the old old details.. but got new stuff ok... like my tagboard.. which is totallly SAFE!! haha... Some of u peeps tot like there was some virus with my old tagboard.... kekeke... but sorry ya.. I really dunno wats wrong with my ex tagboard... (Hah!! Ex kaper!!) n ya.. not forgetting a new entry..

Some of u have been visiting my long abandoned bloggie n i noe.. i havent been updating... sorry.. but i had no time... assignments.. tuitions.. projects... at the end of the day.. no mood to blog.. plus.. something wrong with the tagboard n the fonts of my previous blog.. so.. i had mood to do any changes.. so.. to me... there's nothing to c or read la...

k.. updates!!

My life has changed a lil.. just a lil.. Me in NIE... busy... more commitments.. tuition.. desperately looking for time to chill n lepak.. in short.. life's more busy.. but now i'm having sch break.. so i'm really2 trying to enjoy this sch break... Other than that.. life's the same... still single.. still my ownself... still the minah kuih... or watever u wanna call me..

Ok.. a lot has happened.. over the past 1 or 2 mths.. but those experiences have become a part of me.. no use talking bout them... n no use reminiscing... just that.. they taught me n made me understand myself and life.. If u're clueless bout wat i'm saying... It's ok.. I'm a bit clueless too.. but.. there is a pt i am trying to convey... except that i'm not sure wat it is... so.. let's just move on...

Let me just end this entry.. and thanks for reading all these crap which I have been typing for almost 10 mins.. Yes... it took me that long just to think n type this long an entry... Ok.. till i crap again.. with a lil bit more of substance ya? :)

2006-09-29T08:44:00.000+08:00

Time check: 8.39 am

On a Friday morning.. supposedly my last wkday break... n i'm in school!! bahhhhh!!

Ok.. i'm actually killing time before 9 am for some tarian thinggy.. not sure what it's for but.. of course... if there's tarian.. count me in man!! haha.. Sanggup!!

I love to joget la... since small.. hah.. u noe.. when i was young... my mom told me.. i like to gelek.. like shake my upper body.. then when someone noticed what i was doing and acknowledged it... I'll stop and hide myself... Muka blow!! haha....

N i have good news to NIE trainees!!

As i was walking towards the sitting area above the canteen... guess what i saw next to the SAM machine.....

It's a/an....

ATM MACHINE!!!!!!!!! woohooo!!

Now no more 'trips' to NTU across the road just to withdraw 20 bucks... pretty troublesome i must say... especially wen the queue is long OR the sucky part is wen the machine cannot dispense any cash... Finally our prayers has been answered.. haha...

But... this also means.. no more trips to NTU.. and to 'discover' fun fun stuff... like.... I'm sure Kasha n Fizah know what i'm talkin about... Of course.. we can still have McD's breakfast k?

Say.. what shall i talk about now??

Actually i wanted to blog about the day we 3 girls (ME, KASHA n FIZAH) pampered ourselves.. It started off with lunch at Jurong pt's Fish n Co.. then we head down for some pampering nhad our nails manicured... n pedicured (for me) hehe!! was soooo fun ok? Just read Fizah's blog n u'll get to see pics of us in action.. or rather... getting ourselves PAMPERED.. heh...

Then.. during the wkend.. There was the first nite Terawih with Syiqa and Hamma.. with their bfs... n of cos.. some of the othe NY guys.. Fid n FUzz... The plan was to terawih (8 rakaat + witir) and then eat tulang at Beach Rd... but change of plans... we terawih-ed and ate Murtabak at New Victory.. (which Nisa n fren, Sham joined) then sheesha-ed... what a way to welcome the Ramadhan...

Group Collage

N this week being my break week... i'm feeling soooo guilty for not doing much... so far.. i managed to onli complete my Reflections 2.. have not started on other stuff... but i'm quite ok at how i actually spent the wk.. cos i managed to help pack porridge at Siglap Mosque... n go Terawih... this is the onli wk u noe.. i'm not sure how my other days are gonna be like wen sch starts... yeap...

So... must get going already.. It's 8.59am already...

To all Muslims out there.. Slamat Menyambut Ramadhan... Semoga sgala amalan akan diberkati :)

2006-09-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

Ok.. better.. at least now i can change my fonts...

Been spending hrs on my 'work station' staring at my assignment sheets n TRYING to think on what to do for my lesson presentation.. quite brain draining i must say... eventho i haven't been doing much... haizz.... This whole NIE thinggy making me stressed up... Actually... it's just my laziness la.. like procrastinating my work n the fact that i'm always sooo blurrr....... argghhh...

I can't wait for next wkend or next2 wkend or the 1 week holiday.... haiya... I'm bored la... School's ok actually... is just the environment.. i miss Townsville so much...

Enough of school la.. no use whining... hmmm.. Let's talk about 'I am Sam' the movie which was aired last night.. did anyone watch that? It's sooo... sad n touchin... i cried so many times througout the whole movie... n i sniffed loudly that Bibik could hear me in the kitchen.. hehe

I get really sensitive n emotional watching movies like that... n it's sooo irritating.. haha... n b4 watching that movie.. i was watching Big Daddy... n i cried watching that too.. wah... so can u imagine... it's just like crying the whole night through just cos i was watching 2 touching movies...

Oh.. n after watching 'I am Sam' mom asked me to drive up to Mustafa Ctr to get some ingredients for cooking Briyani cos she gotta cook early morning.. so i did... i went there without any makeup... totally makeup-less... with puffy eyes... so i look like some lady 'yg mati laki' or who just lost her husband.. n i could't see properly.. that the car went up the curb while i was turning into PIE from Bendemeer... paiseh paiseh!!!

Ok... gonna start again on my assignments... oh aniwae.. that particular person did call.. but gone missing again... hmmm.. :(

2006-09-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

hmm.. something wrong with blogger.. can't change my fonts n all....

ok... i just read the previous posts.. n i realised that.. my posts are normlly full of angst n hatred.. n i guess.. onli wen i feel that way.. i will update my blog.. heh...

Okla... let's just change the format a lil this time shall we?? Although.. actually i am feeling a wee bit useless n full of anger in me... i shall keep it to myself for now...

On a happier note... I GOT MY CLASS 3 LICENSE!!! wohhooooo... I'm soo proud of myself... these whole getting my license has burnt a really large whole in my pocket... n this is a real satisfaction...

What have i been up to?

Last sat was a blast... was a really happy day for me... apart from passing my TP... i went out with someone... which i felt was really a blast too... (it's sucky now cos i havent heard from that particular person for days) after which i met with my jc clique to celebrate Iqbal's birthday (hamma's bf) which.... we played LASER QUEST!! That was a lotta fun... haha.. all the running n screaaming... best2!! Next time wanna go again la!!

Then this week 'mcm tak skola!!' Other than Mon n Tues which are my full days... Wed tutorial was cancelled... n today.. something strange happened... i was all geared up for school... REALLY!! but... i felt giddy the moment i woke up for Suboh prayers... everything ard me was gg round n round... so after prayers.. i decided to sleep a lil more just in case it'll go away.... but.. no... i felt the same plus i didnt hear my alarm so i was super late!! so... i decided to get an mc...

ok la.. so i've been sleeping the whole day... but i still managed to drive my paents ard for dinner n to get some stuff.. but i still feel giddy...

ok... tom's gonna be another 'exciting' day... ireally hope so... we're going to NUS to c the kraton exhibition at NUS... sooooo exciting!! then i go teach tuition n will be meeting HAMMA!!!! Sat will be my assignment day at home... I've an essay assignment due next wk... so... yeah.. hope to complete it on Sat... This is just a run through of days to come yea?? Will update more....

P.S I hope there's not much angst in this post.. heh.. :)

2006-08-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

I just hate it.... i hate feeling the way i am feeling now...

Y can't people just let me live my own life... just stay away n wait till I'm sure of everything.. y must they do their own 'research' n to some people... i just don't understand y u can't just mind ur own business n tell others about it... YOU ALL SUCK!!!

I just gets to me wen mom can't wait til i find myself a bf or a life partner... it seems tp me that she thinks i'm soooooo tak laku.. maybe.. but... please la... don't get on my nerves can??

N to u ppl who just can't shut your mouths... is there a need to tell my mom who i'm going out with??? Just keep to yourselves n be happy for me la...

As for me... I'm not sure.... now.. I just feel he's not serious or anything... n i hate to be in a state like this... guessing.. so.. i just wannna slowly walk away.. so as not to get myself hurt ANYMORE... i've been hurt over n over again... n i don wanna feel that way anymore... so please la.... Stop bothering bout my pte lives.. n just MIND UR OWN BUSINESS.... i'm mature enough n i'll tell u wen the time is right....

I'm sooooo freaking pissed!!

2006-08-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

Whoah!! it's been some time.. a month or so?? Heh.. been sooo lazy to update my blog... n even if i decided to post an entry.. I'll procrastinate... so.. yeah.. it took me more than a month...

Basically.. been busy with skool... still trying to adapt with the new environment... n then just recently.. i was given some tuition assignments... need more money lei... for driving n etc...

Other than that.. so far.. life has been smooth sailing... been in cloud 9 a few times... but i dunno as yet if i should be in that state (in cloud 9)... everything is still so blurry n i still dunno what i shd be expecting.. haiyah... if only everything is so simple and straightfwd.. things would be less confusing... but life's gonna be boring tho... hmm...

Wokay.. ini sekadar untuk mengisi masa yang lapang dan juga hati yang kosong.. heh...

2006-07-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

My Trip....

ok.. suddenly.. i feel "rajin" to put up these pics... But these r not all.. just some la... but.. will let u noe wen i've put up on my multiply ok?? Anyway.. just click on the pic if u wanna c a larger view k?

London

The view from the plane

Arrival (with aunt)

Touring London on the no top bus

In one of the souvenier shop (near Madamme Tussaud)

Yes Mummy... we went to Harrods!!

Last day in London (outside uncle's rented apartment)

Hehe.. Cute! (at Trafalgar Sq)

Cardiff, Wales

Tayberry Picking

Like Mother Like Daughter (yes? no?)

my mom met an old friend

we know how to get around Cardiff :)

Grocery shopping

St. Faggans Castle

At Cardiff Bay

Was invited for Dinner

my step-niece (something like tt)... Cute?

ok.. this will do for now... maybe some more in the next post... c ya!

2006-07-10T05:29:00.000+08:00

ITALIA!!

I've been a supporter of Italy for years n finally... they won the cup... It's been so long n i think they deserve the cup this time.. i'm impressed with their performance... n i'm HAPPY!!!

Oh n i enjoyed watching tonight's match too... Gorgeous men running ard.. fuuhh!!

On another note... I love London.. n i love my uncle's place... BEAUTIFUL!!

my uncle's living somewhere in Cardiff, Wales.. a very nice n beautiful place... n London was superb... with all the old buildings... i like!!

But... i really miss my lil brother... he's not been feeling well since me n mom went off for our holiday.. n it breaks my heart wen i hear his voice.. so weak.... not the naughty cheeky n noisy lil boy he's always been...

so... i wanna c my bro soon.. but at the same time.. i love this place....

okla... will update soon.. maybe with some pics...

bye!!

2006-07-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

ok.. for the first time in my life...

I'm Going to LONDON!!!

wohoo.. so excited.. i can't sleep.... but it's ok.. i'll sleep during the 13 hrs flight..

ok.. to my gfs.. sorri i didn't let u all noe.. dun wanna jinx the whole thing.. n aniwae.. it was kinda last min plan.. so... i'll try get ya'll something k.. i TRY.. haha...

so.. c u all soon.. might update my blog or multiply while i'm there.. gonna bring my lappie n... gfs.. u can contact me on the hp...

u peeps take care.... n pray tt i'll reach there n return safely.. :)

2006-06-22T00:54:00.000+08:00

I have never felt this unappreciated before...

Some people just wanna get/receive but never wanna give..

There are limitations to everything..

i've tolerated egoistic behaviour..

i was hurt by many n i've always tried to forget them

i've tried to be there for my frens even if i'm not close to them.. what more people i am very very close to

listen to people's problems n hear them whining about their most stupidest fight with their loved ones....

But... never in my life... have i been slapped with the most ridiculous accusations of not doing all of the above...

I was and it's all because...

It's someone else's problem.. n i have to be blamed cos i'm the next 'closest' person...

People wanna be heard... but some just dun wanna hear wat I/ ME/ FIRDA has to say....

2006-06-06T00:38:00.001+08:00

i've been kinda quiet these few days...

I FAILED!

yeah... over stoopid2 mistakes.. arrggh!!!

just came back from chalet... the 1 nite given by Hafiza's mom to us TK girls.. Thanks!! I had a great time... ate a lot n suffered indigestion.. i hate tt feeling... my stomach was bloated.. despite the fact that i'm already sooo 'buncit'...

Oh n this evening.. i followed mom to visit a my cuz's wife who was in labour.. n gave birth to a cute baby BOY!!

Congratulations Abg Isman n Kak Samsiah!!

The baby was sooooo cute... n i was reminded of my baby Bro wen he was still a few days old..I think i'm gonna pay the couple a visit again so that i can carry the baby... GERAM!!

Ain't he adorable?

2006-05-21T16:04:00.000+08:00

Ok.. since i wanna a mariah carey themed blog.. it's only right if i put up her song too.. heee!!

So.. i present to u...

We Belong Together by who else.... the Diva herself.. Mariah Carey...

Gotta admit.. this is my current favourite song from her...

2006-05-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

I've finally put up this template... All thanks to Siti Nur Akashah (Pengarah Artistik) for doing the Mariah collage.... Actually she did the whole template for me already.. something similar to my previous template but... i decided to make some changes... n WALLA!!! i never thought i could fiddle with html codes.. heh....

but.. i definitely have to fiddle with the taggie codes n a fren commented tt she has to scroll the sides so as to read my bloggie posts... kesian... i'll try do something yea??

wokay... i just realised tt my TP is in a week or so... SCARY!!! n i gotta admit tt i SUCK at driving... arrrgghhhhhh... but i want the license BADLY!! so i can drive to school in July.... and of cos.. get a car... cos mom's gonna get a second car which she's willing to co-own with whoever hu manages to get the driving license first.. AhhhhH!!!!

hee... i wannna continue chatting with chica now...

2006-05-06T00:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.... I had a great time with my tk girls... celebrating Fizah's 22nd... @ Fish & Co (Airport)

To Hafizah.. HAPPY BELATED 22nd BIRTHDAY!!! hee...

It wasn't a full attendance.. just shida wani fiza bai n fana hu came later.. it but it was so damn kecoh.. i love them.. always make my day/night

N of coz.. shida always have stupid n embarassing questions to ask all of us... n bai always have tt smart but vague answers.. which made us go "woooooo!!!" It was all soooo farni... heh...

Oh n to my frens reading my blog.. there's nothing wrong with me.. everyone seemed to be asking me bout my last entry... i'm ok.. really... hehe... n bout my msn nick.. was just trying to use the word 'fathom' and the personal message was taken frm Mariah Carey's lyrics... 'We Belong Together'.. yup... Love her songs...

I'm ok... n its just one of those times i wanna feel loved.. haha... rrrite....

Ok.. i put up some pics frm yest... the rest i'll just put up in my Multiply webbie...

Birthday Girl

The Food

The Gang

2006-04-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over!! Thank God...

I think i'm loving the Saturday Night Movies on ch 5.. last week was 'Someone Like You' n today was 'Mexican'.... i laike!!!

But... the onli prob... both were LOVE stories.. so.. i got a lil emotional n sentimental at some parts... heh... u noe how i am.. can be quite emo at times... yup.... so.... haiz.... i wanna say this on my blog.. but i shy...

i'll just say it anyway la eh...

I WANNA BE IN LOVE AGAIN!!!!!

sounding desperate?? maybe... heh...

it doesn't help that wen u think u like someone n u think that person might feel the same way too... but... the prob is.. the person's not showing it at all n to make it worse... that person don't seem to be interested anymore... Haiz...

U hope that the person will talk to u but nooooo... u're being ignored n wen u try to strike a conversation... that person doesn't seem bothered n wen u think u should just give up... that person tries to start a conversation with you.. just a "Hi!" and then *crick crick crick* the conversation just stops there... haizz....

Guess Chiq... u noe wat i'm toking about.. yea?? hehe... yup yup...

Hmmm... i really dunno wat to do now... Very hungry... but cannot eat... because of this thing called "DIETING"... arrgghhh... I need my use -to-be 'diet motivator'... watever i'm doing.. It's not helping... i'm just eating more n more... yikes!!!

Okla.. lemme just end here n find something to do... My peeps out there... I'm free ok.... Can go out n make plans already!!!

2006-04-23T01:42:00.000+08:00

Just watched 'Someone Like You' when i'm suppose to be studying... and now... i'm blogging.... Sheesh..

the movie was:

Romantic + Comedy = the perfect movie to watch (wen ya all stressed up) with notes lying all over

And also... the movie casted 2 of my favourite actors/actresses...

(the sweet-looking) Ashley Judd & (the wolfy good-looking) Hugh Jackman.... What a combi!!

After watching the movie... i really wonder.. when's that 'miracle' ever gonna happen to me... that 'happiness' i longed for quite some time... hmm..

Maybe.. just maybe... there is still hope...

Only TIME will tell... (i really hope so..)

2006-04-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

I soooo LOVE the new song i put up for my blog... what say u?

It's a classic french song..

I heard it first from a movie (jeux de'enfants) which was played in a lot of scenes... then i watched another movie (Amelie.. not really sure of the spelling).. then i heard it again.... hmm.. so this song kinda left a deep impression....

Enjoy listening to the song... n to those who can't stand it... just bear with it ya?? You'll soon learn to LOVE the song too.. heh :)

2006-04-17T00:45:00.000+08:00

I have nothing else to say... Really.....

I am still disappointed.. but wat's done is done...

so....

Let's just forget what happen as i do not wish to probe on this matter further...

n please dun ever mention abt this matter...
n lastly... stop apologising... i've heard too many 'sorries' for the last 2 days n i dun wanna hear anymore apologies...

Now.. it's my turn to say SORRY... for acting the way i did...

I've nothing else to say....

2006-04-15T23:28:00.000+08:00

Bro's engagement went smoothly... everything went well... Alhamdulillah... n i'm so sure after this function.. my mom's already thinkin of the marriage... Sheesh!!

Anyways... no use saying all tt now... i am disappointed... but maybe i shouldn't.. i dunno.. maybe i'm over reacting... It's not me hu's getting engaged so... y would i care.. right?

But i was disappointed because initially i was excited.. thinking tt some of u guys seemed excited to join me n the rest.. made me feel honoured, looked fwd to be there with all u n all this made me even more excited... but wen the day came.....

oh well.. it's not my engagement ANYWAY... so... yeah.. aniwae.. thanks for ur presence (which i really appreciate but on the other hand.. it seemed as tho it didn't matter cos i didn't get to talk, treat u well as my guests n most importantly take a pic as a momento)

Putting all those feelings aside... my exams are drawing near... n i'm sooo not ready!! I really hope that i can catch up with all my studies... n also.. i'll try to make good use of tt 1 week study break (i certainly will try)... Wish me luck ya'll...

But... i soooooo can't wait for exams to be over!! so many things in stored.. all that chill sessions... gg out.. functions.. chalet... maybe a getaway.. fuuuhh!!! i soooo can't wait... but for now... CONCENTRATE bebeh!!

The family potrait

With the Bride-to-be

2006-03-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

I haven't been enjoying my break that much... been cleaning up my room from Mon all the way till Wed!! Arggghhhh..... But it was a good thing i did it.. cos... i found some valuable stuff.. and of cos some stuff which brought back some memories...

Among some of the valuable stuff i found was this postcard like message my ex-civic tutor gave at the end of my 2nd 1st year in NYJC (confusing eyy?). He was gonna leave us to be civic tutor for the new batch of yr 1s.. so he gave each of us this card. I think currently he's teaching GP in Meridien JC. Oh.. fyi.. he taught me Human Geog... and he was damn gd i tell you... first impression... some obnoxious 'garang' teacher... but after knowing him.. he's tt cool teacher.. whom u can hang out with.. talk to.. and... have fun... he's adorable too... had fun playing touch rugby with him too last time heh....

So this was the message...

you better lose yourself in the music,
the moment you own it,
you better never let it go...

You only get one shot,
do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime....

my fighter-survivor...taken from eminem's "lose yourself"
Clarence Yeo
2003

i think this should be my 'fighter-survivor mantra' too u noe.. since i'm given this opportunity to be a teacher...

I'm truly inspired... thank you Sir... (n of cos to Eminem for that wonderful lyrics..) :)

2006-03-13T00:02:00.000+08:00

yup yup... yesterday i went IT Fair... Like Finally!!

Was lookin for ppl who'd go to IT fair... so i followed Fizah n Rosli there since they're checkin out the fair too... So nice of them to lemme go with them... Anyway.. i just wanna check some stuff out like Digi Camera and Mp3... and other comp stuff... and I've decided get to get a Digi Cam during the next IT fair which will be on in Sept.. n as for yesterday.. i got myself an Mp3!!!

My Mp3 was spoilt u c.. so gotta get a new one.. n i got a good deal...

It was a Panasonic 512 mb Mp3... it's original price was $149.. but selling at $99 during the fair.. but if we're getting 2 sets.. they gonna sell it at $90 each.. Not bad!!

My new Mp3.. Cute not??

Ok la... so basically yesterday was damn boring.. no one asked me out.. except that i really wanted to go for the IT fair...

Today.. nothin much too.. except that i went to a wedding... haizzz....

Think i gotta start going for driving pract more often.. My pract test will be on the 3rd June... and i want the license badly!!! So that i can drive to school in time to come... Arrgghhh... this whole driving thinggy is really burning a hole in my pocket... Tak boleh tahan!!

Sometimes i wonder.. y my sis's phone ring for a mere 1 or 2 sec... then dah!! It just did... and u know.. this means she got a miss call.. and the 'miss call reminder' is gonna beep throughout the night... i can't stand it... i can't sleep sometimes... She definitely gonna get some questioning from me soon..

My sis's growing up.. reached that adolescent age... quite difficult to 'control' her... was i as difficult as she is... From what i remembered wen i was about her age... i was kinda... decent... a lil bit more la... i think... (the 'miss call reminder' jus beeped)

Anyway.. i was decent enough to come home at a certain time.. by 4 or latest 5... but my sis comes home at 7!! EVERYDAY!!! How can?? I know CCAs functions after school since Sat is out.. but they dun function EVERYDAY....

It's hard to talk to my sis since she never share with me anything.. i know she's afraid.. but afraid of wat?? I used to talk to my elder bro about everything wen i was in sec sch... and he always... always talk to me and from those talks they somehow give me diff perspectives of my adolescent life... as in about guys.. abt dating... so i think.. there was no need for an 'abang angkat' or a 'kakak angkat' since i've my siblings to talk to... but its a diff case for my sis... maybe i haven't been doing my part as an elder sis... maybe she's doesn't want me to start nagging or so.. but... she havent tried to tell me anything...

this beeping soung is really bugging me... can't stand it!!

okies.. tom i really hope to start doing my homework.. clean up my room.. and study... cannot procrastinate this time...

2006-03-10T19:06:00.000+08:00

Today's the start of term break.. yeahoo!!!

I've not been updating my blog.. been busy and lazy..

Anyway... last wkend was GREAT!! Met up with my gfs for dinner on Fri.. took pics... stoopid lookin ones... then Sat met them again and a few other NYJC peeps for Yana's Birthday at her aunt's place... It was damn gd can?? There was a spread of food... then.. there was also Chocolate Fondue... ate with marshmallows... Lot of em!! But some ppl just love eating just the chocolate...

Then comes Sunday.. Wani's Engagement Day!!
Was soooo grand... with all the nicely decorated trays of gifts.. and Wani's pretty and SEXEH outfit... the 'mobs' of people.. wah... grand Banget!!

The TK girls were all in pink.. heh... it was sooo nice wen we took grp picture cos Wani was in Yellow.. she really stand out...

We gave her some presents.. a hamper and an album with all our pictures and msgs for her.. so cool.... and of course she liked them..who wouldn't?? i would be touched too.. heh!!

BAsically the whole of this week was quite relaxed.. not much homework... but i've been meeting up with my mom everyday after school and going home quite late.. tiring seh...

Mum has started to prepare bro's engagement day.. and being the elder daughter.. i have to start preparing too!! Haiyah... so leceh... gotta clean up my room... gotta help shopping... doing the decorations... but.. it's gonna be fun... i think...

Okla.. been trying to find time for myself do my own shopping and watch some movies... been missing quite a lot of gd movies... but time and work always gotta be the issue and also the fact that frens are also busy is a factor.. also... whether it interests them is another issue... As a result.. i usually choose to stay home and save money... It kinda sucks actually... Like i've no social life...

I've been thinking.. need to do some changes to my life.. shall not reveal to anyone what they are.... Nothing drastic.. but taking one step at a time. Although these changes may not be obvious esp to my gd friends... but at least if i manage to change.. i'll be more than satisfied...

Firda Hamma and Syiq

Yana's Birthday

Wani's Engagement

2006-02-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

I just love Fridays and Saturdays but loathe Sundays... cos tt's the day i'd start to be busy getting ready for school and then the week starts with a lot of assignment to do.. then come's Thursday cos we'll have to hand in a lotta stuff on Friday... usually i'll have to hand in my weekly essays...

I'm enjoying my Friday... just lazing around.. trying to relax while i stack all my homework to be done on Sunday....

So tomorrow's bro Hakim's Birthday...

HAPPY 20th DUDE!!!

Yup... shall try enjoy my Saturday.. will be having a dinner with my family.. not sure if my extended family gonna join us... It'll be fun if they join in...

Countdown to Wani's Engagement Day... which will be held on 5th March... hehe.. Exciting nye!!!

N Good Luck Shida for the Anugerah Skrin Auditions... Hope my 'pembetulan' for your script helped and We Will Support You!!!!

hehe... was just thinking of my GFs.. they are all so farni & all are diff and unique in their own way...

2006-02-12T09:38:00.000+08:00

So... I've been going through some emotional turmoil... apart from the stress from schoolwork, trying to cope with sastera n GP... trying to cope financially till end of month (with my practical lessons, bills, laptop bill, transport money, daily allowanc etc)

Life sucks for me now...

oh.. n it doesn't pay to be nice... Some ppl just LOVE others (hu r nvr considerate) to others hu (try to impress n be considerate n be tt person u always tell us to be)

Everything just sucks... maybe its a test from HIM... n i'm trying very hard to be patient... do watever i can... stick to what i believe in..

2006-01-26T00:04:00.000+08:00

Some people just don't take me seriously...

They think i'm just some bimbo... ok.. i meant fool... whom they can just try to joke with without even considering MY feelings...

They think that i'm just like a mannequin who dun mind getting all those hurtful remark which was passed off as a joke...

Excuse me!!! I may look like I dun care and i may look like one of those people who always make a fool of herself... I may be easily tickled by something so trivial... I may be one who ignores watever remark u said...

To tell you the truth... I've Had Enuff!!

I am not one who holds grudges n will hate you...

But deep inside.. i'm a very sensitive person... i cry too... all the time... even when i'm angry...

No... i won't let you see tt sensitive me... so wat you get is that un-bothered, "Whatever!!" look....

n this does not mean you are entitled to be soooo blunt and insensitive...

2006-01-14T16:13:00.000+08:00

Just wanna share this poem which i really really like... very sweet, romantic, touching.... very NICE...

Some of u might have heard it before... its from
10 Things I Hate About You...

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair;
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie,
I hate it when you make me laugh;
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you;
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

*sigh*

2006-01-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

heart with 22 candles... so sweeet...

so touch-ed...

here's to being 22..

prezzie...

Ustazah Firda dan Ustazah Hammadah bersama budak-budak HANYUT...

entangled...

More pics at my multiply site... k?

Anyway.. thanks girls for the wonderful time... Love u all...

2006-01-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

Today's B-O-R-I-N-G... oh well.. that's cos i had so much fun yesterday!!!

My JAMzz girls (chica, hamma, juana, nisa n jasmine).. ohh featuring Layla n Aiza.. had a surprise bbq for ME!!! hehe.. so nice...

I was told to meet at ECP's mac.. for some picnic.. n i tot i was early.. u noe.. some ppl just had to be late everytime we meet.. hehe... so waited at mac with Nisa n was asked to walk down all the way to end of Costa Sands... i was damn FURIOUS!! but.. i kinda had a feeling they had something planned for me.. hehe..

So.. i walked with Nisa.. sulking n complainin bout them being late n the tot of having to walk all the way down .. oh n Nisa could not answer all the questions i asked.. like.. 'asal nak kena pegi sana' or 'y meet at Mac in the first place'.. (but actually deep inside i was hoping tt they're planning something special for me..)

Indeed.. they had something special planned... a pit.. (no.. i wasn't tt surprised.. thanks to my perfect eyesight.. i could c them like 200m away) n invited some friends n all of their bfs.. it was so special to me to meet everyone's bfs n to get to know them..

C.. that's me.. i wanna know hu my gfs r going out with n i want their bfs to be comfortable n also know hu we r... i'd want my future bf to get to know my friends too.. n yesterday was the beginning of getting to know everyone's partners... n i hope.. there's more of these activities in future.. maybe with MY bf included.. hehe...

The best part was wen they made me a brownie as my 'birthday cake' with 22 candles arranged like a shape of a heart... tt was sooooo sweet.. cam nak nangis pun ader.. hehe...

The most fun part was wen we played 'Murderer'.. kinda childish.. but it was a lot of fun.. winking at people.. getting murdered wen u're winked.. hehe.. then the guessing part.. the best was made by me... wen i became police.. the 2 murderers winked at me.. hahahaha

I heard they wanted to invite more people.. the frens frm tk esp.. n there was supose to be a chalet... but it's ok.. i had sooo much fun yesterday.. n it kinda made up the last few days wen i was sooo pissed over nothing.. maybe i was sore about my age... that i dun feel like celebrating on my bdae..

The pit n the cake wasn't enough... they got me a present too!! A GOLA bag... something i really want.. a bag!! hehe... Although.. the colour wasn't really my taste.. but it's quite versatile.. so i dun mind....

Wahh... i feel soo special yesterday... n thanks girls for EVERYTHING... it was too much n i dun think i deserve all that... but thanks a lot... really... i was touched by the efforts... yesterday certainly was something unexpected n of course something i will nvr forget... (touching ehh)

Will put up some of the pics here.. once i get hold of them.. waiting for Ms IT savvy to put them up.. hehe...

Oh n fyi.. my tp will be on the 3rd of June.. everyone.. TK girls esp.. pray hard so next raya can drive daddy's mpv.. hehe...

This certainly is a loooong entry...

2006-01-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

It's my Birthday...

BUT!!!!!

i dun feel like celebrating...

i dun feel like i wanna be nice with anyone...

i wanna cry...

i feel stupid...

i feel useless...

i wanna cry...

i hate u...

i hate myself...

i wanna CRY...

n CRY...

n CRY...

It's tt time of the mth!!

2006-01-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

ok... i'm doing this cos i'm really really BORED!! So many things to complain n whine about... So angry!!!

1. this is my worst sch holiday EVER!! I keep getting sick these past few days when i'm like suppose to enjoy to the max cos sch's starting soon... First it was flu which took more than a wk before i finally felt ok... n its only OK lorrr... i did not fully recover.... then i was sick on New Year Eve.... Can u believe it!!!?? Arrgghhh...... tot i could go shopping after Anugerah Persuratan (ohh... my face was on the news for a lil while.. heh) which took my sat afternoon away...

My stomach didn't feel gd the whole day but tot it'll go away soon... so i was planning to follow layla to town but got a phonecall frm sis sayin that an aunt frm kl came over.. so i decided to go home n wen i reach home.. i was really2 sick... suddenly i had fever... n then my head hurts... feel like vomiting... u noe tt sucky feeling...

2. Stuck with GP project frm the start of my hols until NOW!! first gotta get the written report ready.. then now the presentation...n gotta get a lot of stuff ready.. n during hols.. i had to go all the way back to sch just for 30 mins meeting or at most an hr!!! Argghh!

3. Bibik went back to kampung... so i had to do the housework.. look after my baby bro... Imagine a wife who has to balance housework n sch work... something along tt line.. xcept tt i'm not married.... just cos of that.. i'm like stuck with my mom n baby bro... ate out most of the time cos mom refused to cook (she didn't want to dirty her kitchen) but actually my mom's a great cook but she didn't want to dirty the kitchen n i dun wanna clean it either.. hehe... n i didn't get to go out cos i feel guilty everytime i leave mom lone to clean the house.. n have to look after baby bro... (mom's not well u c..)

I'm glad its back to normal.. bibik's back n i get to eat home cooked food!! Actually.. i kinda love doing the housework n at times do the cooking.. make me feel soooo gd after doing those and esp cook for my family...hehe... Serious.. i'm not kidding u peeps... ;p

Ok.. so u guys kinda get the picture y i'm soooo frustrated bout this hols... Besides that.. no one asked me on a date... n my parents have been out these few days.. leaving us at home.... even this min... yest went out at night n came home ard 2.. n today they've been out since noon n still not home... n its almost 1 am... n i heard they're going batam tom cos dad got assignment n mom's following... NOT FAIR!!! Seems like my parents are enjoying more than me.....

Argghh.. i'm gonna sulk while trying to finish up this project thingy... Thanks a lot!!

2005-12-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

New template again!!!

Sad to say i'm not really satisfied with my new template.. still need to work a few things out... like the tag.. n maybe colour.. stuff like tt...

N.. this template doesn't really reflect the real 'Me'... i'm sooooooo not into BLUE... hahaha... but nvm... just gotta try new things ya??

Aniwae.. its been some time since i last updated.... n chic has been bugging me to update my blog... well... not now uhh..

Chic's on msn with me rite this min n she says the fonts too small... Haiyah!! dun complain can?? I'm not HTML expert lehhh.... n also i hate to c bulky fonts... so gotta bear with it.. ok... till i blog again...

Seriously.... I lazy la update blog....... arrgghhhh......

2005-12-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

I get soooo excited everytime i'm reminded of the all-girls-night-out.. woo.. 1 wk to go man!!!

haha.. n thanks farhana for making this happen... although me n fiza are also not as busy as the others... but u are the one who have been doing all the confirmations.. alah.. cam paling sibuk uhh gituuu.. (nasib baik ader org cam tuu.. kalu tak, tak dpt bermlm sesama)

Anyway girls.. i'll be comin over to the hotel later cos i got some function on... gotta launch the book.. so... u all enjoy first.. (alah!!! tak best uhh cam nii tak dpt join in!!)

Oh!! n girls.. i've a suggestion... mlm tu kiter ramai2 pi tgk 'Pride n Prejudice' nak tak?? nak uhh!!! it's been a long time since i last watch a movie with u all...I think the last time was after O'level results.. we went to watch'Iron Ladies'.. hehe... Blardy crappy!!

N also... my parents r gg Surabaya on the 24th.. so i wanna welcome u gals to sleepover at my house.. accompany me... no mama.. no papa.. no brother... no sister... no bibik also.. i scared stay alone!!

Ok... i'm bored... wanna golek-golek on my bed...

2005-12-08T12:54:00.000+08:00

Asmara
(Novia Kolopaking)

Sendiri....
Kukemas air mata di pipi
Tak percaya ku yang telah terjadi
Cintamu kini telah terbagi
Haruskah cinta aku akhiri
Hanya sampai di sini

Tak mungkin...
Aku berpaling dan menyudahi
Tercabik hati ingin meronta
Jangan kau rejam gairah yang ada
Haruskah aku mengemis cinta
Untuk menghilangkan duka

Asmara...
Kemana lagi akan kucari
Siapa yang kan mengusir sepi
Disaat ku sendiri

Asmara...
Mungkinkah kau sampaikan padanya
Walau hatiku penuh derita
Aku masih slalu cinta

ok... i'm off to meet Chiq... :)

2005-11-30T11:44:00.001+08:00

Classy dress

HOW WOULD YOUR PROM DRESS LOOK LIKE? -11

saw this link from Hamma's blog... try it out.. i kinda like mine...

Yeap nothin much happened.. except on Saturday... made a 'surprise visit' to syiqa's crib.. terperanjat beruk kan kan kan!!?? hehe... Got her Mac's breakfast... a slice of Blackforest cake n 21 stalks of roses.. (20 pink with 1 red rose in the middle) hehe... touchin ehh...

Aniwaes... Happy Belated Birthday Syiqa!! (Was suppose to be on Mon but i decided to update my blog onli today) Lookin fwd to tmr's JB trip with u n the other girls tom!!

2005-11-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

oklah... in this post.. i shall not write anything about jln raya anymore... been jln raya-ing with a few frens this whole wk... PENAT....

basically... i've been busy discussing with the TK girls on the all-girls-night-out in dec.. whereby we're gonna check in into a hotel... most prob be at gallery hotel..so exciting!!! can't wait....

to make this entry short n sweet.. i wanna recommend u ppl to read Farhana's blog.. i kinda like wat she wrote about the TK girls... jln raya n all.. so nice!! :)

2005-11-15T20:49:00.000+08:00

the pinkies

the guy n girl grps

hehehe

On Sat.. the TK girls had our jln raya!!! Altogether we went to 9 houses.. starting from Nad's house at almost 2 ( was suppose to meet at 12.30 ok!!) Yeah yeah.. as usual.. whenever i go out with the tk girls... some people just had to be LATE.. hehe.. but tt did not dampen our spirits to enjoy the jln raya...

Topic of the day was... "Syazwani dah nak tunang!!!"

That was like the talk at every house.. spreading the news to everyone's mom... n as usual.. my mom would be the excitd one.. talkin bout whose gonna get married first.. yada yada... "Bila Firda nak ader boyfren??" yada yada.... haiyohh.. but we were all so excited for Wani... n its gonna be in June next yr.. insya'allah.. wohooo.. Congrats Wani!!

Oh yeah.. the jalan raya was also a geat time to catch up on each others lives.. esp those gfs i've not met for soooo long.. like hidayah n farhana...

It was suppose to be an all girls outing... but Fizah n Rosli just can't be separated so.. we met the guys at some of the houses..like Wani's, mine, Nabil's n also Fizah's. N i'm soo jealous tt the guys jln raya in an mpv while we gals had to walk or take public transport... but it wasn't soo bad cos most of us were staying quite close to each other.. xcept Hidayah's house.. which was in Serangoon n most of the houses were at Bedok Res.. hehe..

anyway.. to all my Camera Whores (that's what wani call our grp.. but tts disgusting..) Thanks for the great time ya?? Love u all so much!!!

As for yesterday... i jln raya with the girls of Malay unit, NIE Townsville..hehe.. had a blardy gd time with them... believe it or not.. everyone was in their glamorous baju kurung n kebaya.. but we were travellin in a CARGO van!!! hehe.. n oh yes.. we got a few stares from ppl who can't believe the cargo van was full of chicks... driven by akak2 chicks.. hehe...

Yeap.. the ride in the van was sooooo fun! It was blardy hot inside but everyone had fun.. esp wen it turned into a mobile karaoke box! Well.. i think i had quite an experience.. but sad to say.. i dun have the pics for now.. but will get them from the girls...

feel free to check out my raya pics ya at my multiply site.. enjoy.. :)

2005-11-09T01:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.. went to Bugis with Fizah and got my 1st branded wallet!! Since we were sooo free.. we decided to catch The 40-year-old virgin at Marina.

After the movie.. we headed down to tamp to meet Wani.. Was her bdae.. so bought her presents. Then decided to go Simpang Bedok. It's my 2nd time there.. hehe..

Everything was unplanned... but it was fun meeting them.. especially with Shida around.. cos she's the noisiest... n farni at the same time... All n all.. it was nice meeting them again... will be meeting them again this Sat for jln raya.. wohoo!!

So anyway girls.. thanks for making my day n to Wani.. Happy 21st Birthday n hope u really like the present... :)

met up at BK

everyone concentrating on wat i had to say.. hehe

at simpang bedok

Check out the other pics at my multiply site ya?

2005-11-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

Some pics of first day raya..

with my cuz.. Fidah

with my younger bro

me sis n elder bro...

the 4 elder siblings.. with bibik

n my room.. so neat.. i like!!

Ok.. to everyone i know.. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.. Maaf Zahir Batin :)

2005-10-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

Ok.. i've decided to put up these two collages... i'll put the pics at my multiply website n u all can check out the pics there.. will inform u wen i'm done posting the pics at multiply... anyway the top one's with the Gfs n the bottom one r my TK girls.. taken in Tangs' level 3 toilet.. hehe...

niwae.. this is my multiply webbie:

misztique.multiply.com

2005-10-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

Woooo!!! Exams over!! Feel so relieved...

Anyways.. i made changes to the layout n i can proudly say.. i changed everything by MYSELF!! even the taggies!! So.. i dun need anyone to help me.. for now.. n dun need to bother Sham.. hehe.. n yes Sham.. i still owe u 2 Rhumba Frap... i promise!

Well.. i told u i'd be updating a lil.. Well.. i met my girlfriends for buka at Bussorah Street. had a good time cathching up on each others' lives esp Nisa Hammadah n Juana.. as for Chiq... i'm always in contact with her.. but its been some time since we met..

Had a bad experience with the food at Bussorah St but after buka we walked down to Bugis CB n had a long girly chat there... tt was so much fun.. n of cos.. we took pics which i'll put up on the next post..

Also... went buka with some TK gfs at Far East.. another bad eating experience.. walked down to Tangs.. n took pics in the toilet (it was damn pretty.. the toilet i meant ;p) then took mrt to go Geylang...

Jln2 a lil n bought food... sat bawah blk to eat... met Ira n Tong n also Rosli.. jln2 some more... n went home ard 12!! Hehe.. lucky for me.. ader Tong to drive us home.. So nice!! Did a lot of catchin up as these are the gfs i seldom meet... n i had a hell of good time with them...

Last Sun.. the day b4 exams.. they had another buka session... didn't join them... n i'm sooooo JEALOUS!!! i wanna go out with u gals again!!!

hmm.. exams over... plan to go out with a few grps of ppl... n raya's comin soon!!

Oh n a few more activities my fellow Townsvillians n myself gonna involve with.. apart from our GP project n GESL.. we're gonna be busy with the completion for the ASAS 50's 55 yrs book publication n also the launch cum celebration... n we're gonna be in the committee for Anugerah Persuratan... so.. no holidays for me... :(

oklah.. gonna stop here for now.. check out for some pics on the next post...

Exams..

2005-10-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

In a few hrs time.. i'll be taking my first exam paper.. GP!!
Not really good uhh.. ususally i kinda just made it.. u noe.. like borderline pass... I usually suck at the vocab section.

Tues's gonna be sejarah sastera paper.. I'm not redi for tt one. so many things to remember..
after tues..can relek a bit cos wed's bahasa then fri lit 1... apreasiasi sastera... then it's over... just gotta be patient... i guess...

tak sabo tul!!

2005-10-23T15:09:00.000+08:00

I've decided to do something else after thinking too much bout examinations..
Well.. i've done something to the tagboard.. all thanks to HISHAM!!
Terima Kasih!!!

I really really dun understand these codes .. Anyway.. most of my frens commented that they hate Mariah.. hmm... well. just tahan a bit ya? Once i get bored of this layout .. i'll change it k?

I can't wait till next week.. wen examinations are over... then it's gonna be allowance day.. after that.. it means SHOPPING!!!! wanna join me???

Ok ok.. lemme concentrate on my examinations first.. scared uhh!! esp tuesday's paper.. it's History of Literature... in Malay of course...
I've been trying to study all night till like sahur time.. n i just dunno wat to focus on. So all the while i was LOST...

SMSed my clasmates n told them my problems.. n they've been really2 nice trying to calm me down n give me tips on wat i can do.. hmm... Nice peeps.. =)

2005-10-22T15:21:00.000+08:00

I've just changed the layout.. Mariah Carey freak.. hehe..

anyways.. i dun feel like updating you guys with anything rite now.. my mind's on my examinations.. which starts on Monday..

However.. I've lots of stuff to update..

So u guys just wait till next wk ya??

Also... i'd like to wish all of you Muslims out there...

Selamat Berpuasa!!

Teachers' Day

2005-09-01T14:32:00.000+08:00

Happy Teachers' Day!!

hehe... that's for all the teachers in this world... whether u're a good or bad one.. hehe.. cos in a way or another..u've taught many many kids

I'm soo excited.. cos.. i'll be celebrating teachers' day too.. soon! (Hopefully!) And it's just nice to c how ppl or kids actually wish u that cos u have in a way or another changed their lives (hopefully in a good way) and c them appreaciating your efforts n stuff like that. That's y they say "mengajar adalah satu pekerjaan yang MULIA"...

Yeaps.. niwae... we had this teachers' day concert for our trainers.. it was a lil screwed up.. n it didn't turn out as planned... haiz.. but after that we had this teachers' day celebration among the malay unit n our two beloved trainers.. Cikgu Pitchay n Cikgu Ali!!! It was a buffet dinner at Sakura International Buffet.. my stoach was bloated cos too much food consumed.. but i had a great time.. hope my 2 beloved trainers too had a great time.. Niwae.. it's their last yr in Townsville.. so sad...

Niwae peeps.. i really really need to change my layout.. quite diff for u too read huh... i'l change it soon...

2005-08-20T13:38:00.000+08:00

So much school werk... so many enrichment programmes... so many saturdays gone... a lot of upcoming performances... so tiring... but i'm having fun with my sch frens.. all things i nvr tot i'd be doing... new experiences.. Really refreshing.

2005-07-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

This is one of my favourite songs... meaningful lyrics which i try to apply to my daily life... n.. it's from Mariah Carey

Can't take that away

They can say anything they want to say

Try to bring me down

But I will not allow

Anyone to succeed

Hanging clouds over me

And they can try hard to make me feel

That I don't matter at all

But I refuse to falter In what I believe

Or lose faith in my dreams

CHORUS:

'Cause there's a light in me

That shines brightly

They can try

But they can't take that away from me

From me

They can do anything they want to you

lf you let them in

But they won't ever win

If you cling to your pride

And just push them aside

See I have learned there's an inner peace I own

Something in my soul

That they cannot possess

So I won't be afraid

And darkness will fade

'Cause there's a light in me

That shines brightly

They can try

But they can't take that away from me

They can't take this

Precious love l'll always have inside me

Certainly the Lord will guide me

Where I need to go

They can say anything they want to say

Try to break me down

But I won't face the ground

I will rise steadily

Sailing out of their reach

Oh Lord

They do try hard to make me feel

That I don't matter at all

But I refuse to falter

In what I believe

Or lose faith in my dreams

'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly

They can try

But they can't take that away from me

From me

tired...

2005-07-21T14:45:00.000+08:00

School has started n i'm very busy already.... First wk was orientation... 2nd week lesson started.. got assignments (ESSAY!!) n now's the third wk.. if assignments.. essay... performances!! 2 of them! Racial Harmony for the MINDs students n Saturday for the Launching of a directory of Singapore Malay writers : 'Leksikon'.

More performances to come n assignments... n Essays n yeah.. not forgetting.. the project Cikgu wanted to give since the HOLIDAYs... n he still have not given it.. Arrgh!

2005-07-03T14:32:00.000+08:00

Decided to put up a pic of me n my girls who accompanied me to buy daddy's belated bdae present yesterday... Thanks girls!! Left is Juana n right is Hafizah.

Too Shy??

2005-06-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

There's one thing bout me that i think i really need to work on or should i say... feel it at the right time... I think i have this problem of being too shy at the wrong time... a friend even commented...

"Firdawati:- shy to the point of irritation"

What!!???

After that i couldn't stop laughing... n i was thinking.. maybe.. it is true.. that i am too shy.. However... i'm not like that with my close friends n school friends..

This 'shyness' of mine came about ever since i was still a small girl.. i dun talk much n very self concious bout everything that i do... Although not too much now( in fact, i dun care what ppl say bout me most of the time) but i still do feel it esp with ppl i just get to noe or to someone i like :p

So.. this has become a disadvantage to my social life...
When i'm talking to or face to face with a guy i like..... i talk less... can't seem to find anything interesting to talk about... not spontaneous.. will never sing for him ... n hence... i'll eventually have to say.. "Bye Bye Boy" cos he will find me.. boring i guess or he has found a new interest...

Well... this has been going on so many times... n everytime its heartache for me.. but life goes on n eventually everyone gets to meet someone new...

Need to work on that ya... I'm gonna be a teacher anyway so... gotta break away from my shyness...

Clueless..

2005-06-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

Fer now.. I really dunno wat to post... actually.. there's many stuff i'd like to put here.. but everything's in a mess.. so.. i'd post something wen i'm ready aite.. take care u all.. :) Niwae peeps.. this is a pic of my adorable baby bro.. LOVE him lots...

My First Entry....

2005-06-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

Ok... this is gonna be my first entry.. To test.. I've decided to post the lyrics to the song 'Sway' by Bic Runga... Check out the song ya?

Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I should be much to smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you

And here I go
Losing my control
I'm practising your name
So I can say it to your face it doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth indeed its time
Tell you why I say its infinately true

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten my every afternoon